“GOD, please take care of this exam. I will be regular from next time. I would attend lectures, make notes, study each and every day and not waste time gossiping in the corridor. I will make use of each and every minute of my life. I will become ultra efficient. Efficiency will become my middle name and hard-work my surname. Just help me get through this time. Please. Jai Maa Saraswati and also Jai Hanumaan.”
After the last exam gets over, I come to my room and start a movie on my desktop. Soon, four-five friends join. I don’t feel guilty. I totally deserve one relaxed evening (and night) after the exams.
The next day arrives. I don’t remember promises I made to GOD. And life goes on until the arrival of next exam.
I enjoy my first job for some time. But then things start getting sour. I start looking for alternate options. Surely, life cannot be this boring. I think jobs in a different sector are more fulfilling. GOD, please help me get a different job (higher paying) and I will start my life afresh. I will enjoy life like no one has ever done before.
The second job seems good for some time. Then monotonous, then hectic and then not worth-it. Surely life has something better for me. I need to start again.
Nobody is going to give me chance in a different sector because I have no prior experience in the particular field. The only way out is MBA. After all, 80-85% people change their field of work after doing their MBA. So after completing my MBA, I will enter the field I want to. I will have all the network support and all the business tools. I will achieve miracles.
But I suspect GOD is waiting to hear from me again.
Filed under: Etc., Uncategorized | Tags: Boo, Manto, Saadat Hasan Manto, Titwal ka Kutta, Tobatek Singh
The first time I heard about Manto was when our Hindi Teacher told us the story “Tobatek Singh”. It is one of the best satires on the idiocy of Indo-Pak partition.
The second time was when I saw two plays based on “Boo” and “Titwal ka Kutta”, two short stories written by Manto. The plays were directed by Naseeruddin Shah.
The third time was when I saw a book called “Manto ki vivadaspad kahainyan” on the railway station. I could not buy it because Papa was with me.
About two months back, I bought the complete collection of short stories by Manto. I read them all, as if in a trance (I took break from movies during this time). And now, I have become a big big fan.
Manto worked as a writer in the Film Industry during the 1940s. He lived in Bombay and many of his stories are based in this city of dreams. The essential nature of Bombay remains the same over the last seventy-eighty years. And Manto captures this nature very well through his characters that come from all strata of the society. But, Manto has a special connect with the likes of prostitutes, dalals, bewdas and other characters on the fringes of our society.
All his stories are thrillers. Manto reveals different layers of his characters one-by-one. The reader does not know how a particular character will turn up in the end. There is always a feeling that there is something more to what people say and do. The vilest characters end up looking good while the noblest one slips. Manto spares no one.
Manto does not polish his sentences. Everything comes on your face. The so called dirty words like “randi” and “bhadwa” are used with the most beautiful words in the same sentence. Many times he brings out such subtle emotions to the fore, that we feel uncomfortable. We feel uncomfortable because there is a feeling of déjà vu which is not always associated with good things.
Highly-highly recommended.
Filed under: Personal BS | Tags: Dharmvir bharti, Dharmyug, Gunahon ka Devta, Hans
I read “Gunahon ka Devta” recently. Dharmvir Bharti is the writer of this touching novel. The very next day after finishing this book, I chanced upon an article on Mr. Bharti in Hans, a Hindi literary monthly. Other than writing novels, Mr. Bharti was also the editor of Dharmyug, another serious Hindi magazine. The article talked about Dharmvir Bhati using his position as an editor for personal gains. The article in Hans claimed how Mr. Bharti shifted his allegiance from one political party to another depending on who was in power.
After reading these not so good things about the writer, my perspective on Gunahon ka Devta changed. All the innocence in the novel drained away. The novel suddenly became the most manipulative novel I had read.
Can we see any work of art isolating it completely from its creator?
Imagine the works of your favourite writer. Now, let us assume that there is a revelation about your favourite writer. The revelation could be anything like – the writer was a paedophile or a racist or a misogynist. Will these revelations affect your perception of his stories or novels?
Filed under: Movies | Tags: Disco Dancer, Jimmy, Mithun, Mithun da, Om Shivpuri, Rajesh Khanna
One and only
It is already a month into 2010. Time is flying and I really need to work hard to catch up. I woke up with this feeling and an irritating headache today.
After freshening up, I switched on the TV around 7 and found that a Mithun movie was playing. Hypnotised, I sat down on the couch.
A hot bidding war was going on. Mithun da against Om Shivpuri. Mithun da was upping the stakes each time by five lakhs. Finally, just as Om Shivpuri bid seventy lakhs Mithun da said, “Gotcha”. Mr. Shivpuri was shattered as he had bought something worth ten lakhs for seventy lakhs.
Cut to the next scene. Mithun da starts by teaching alphabets to the frenzied crowd.
D for Dance
I for Item
S for Singer
C for Chorus
O for Orchestra
I am a Disco Dancer!
Oh boy, I had caught none other than the cult movie Disco Dancer. I sat glued and was totally mesmerised by the awesome movements of Mithun da’s legs.
After the song Om Shivpuri hatches a plot with Bob Christo (who else?) to destroy Jimmy’s career. Yup, Mithun da is called Jimmy. They plan to pass 500 horse powers current through Jimmy’s electric guitar. Just as Mithun da is about to the touch the red-coloured current flowing through the guitar wires, mommy dear jumps to save the day. Maa mar jaati hai. And Mithun da develops a guitar-phobia. The baddies are still not satisfied and so they break Mithun da’s legs. Vipattiyon ka pahaad toot padta hai.
Cut to the climax. Mithun da after having recovered from the leg-fracture is standing on the stage at the International Disco Competition unable to perform because of the dreaded guitarphobia. The heroine sings a touching song called – Jimmy, Jimmy, Jimmy. Aa jaa, aa jaa, aa jaa. But, Mithun da does not respond.
It takes none other than the erstwhile superstar Rajesh Khanna to come and enthuse Jimmy to sing and dance. Rajesh Khanna shouts,”Main kehta hoon, tu gaa.” And Mithun da does the needful.
This particular song needs to be sentimental but at the same time it needs to fit in the Disco competition. Bappi da comes to the rescue. And so Jimmy sings the most sentimental disco song ever – “Yaad aa raha hai, Tera Pyaar.”
And then the baddies come and kill Mr. Khanna. Mithun da kills them all. Look at the irony, Om Shivpuri also dies of an electric shock in the end.
My headache is cured. What a way to start the first day of the second month.
Filed under: Etc., Personal BS | Tags: Dharamvir Bharti, Gunahon ka Devta, love
I first heard about Gunahon Ka Devta when I was in Standard VII. Our Hindi teacher told us about this novel by Dharmvir Bharti. The name of the novel sounds like a Mithun movie (Gunaah and Devta in one phrase). But the teacher got quite serious talking about the novel. Apparently, this novel was a must-read for people of his generation during their college days. Most young guys and girls of his generation would have it beneath their pillow.
The writer explores love through relationships of the male protagonist (Chander) with three female characters.
Sudha: Chander’s love-track with Sudha is the soul of the novel. Sudha has been depicted as so pure and ideal a soul that she would give all of Ayn Rand’s characters a run for their money. Her love for Chander is platonic and devoid of any physical attraction. She worships him. Some moments between them are intensely romantic and emotional at the same time. Chander and Sudha, Sudha and Chander. Sacrifice, devotion and all such emotions.
Pummy: Pummy is an Anglo-Indian woman who represents the carnal side of love (cliché). She believes in passion and sex. She is manipulative and she wants Chander badly. Initially Chander resists, but falls for her later. Chander explores the pleasures of the body with Pummy.
Binti: Binti considers Chander as nothing less than GOD. Chander does not reciprocate but Binti does not care. She considers him to be above her love. She worships him unconditionally.
In the novel, Chander experiences different facets of love and passion through the three women. There are many questions raised about love through him. Age-old questions like –What is love? Is love different from lust? Should you marry someone you love? Are girls always manipulative in love?
Nice read.
“A girl in love wants to get married and a married woman wants a lover.”
Filed under: Etc., Jharkhand and Bihar, Personal BS | Tags: auto-rickshaw, Bombay, Ishqiya, Naseeruddin Shah, Ranchi
My journey from New Delhi to Ranchi which should ideally have taken 19 hours took 48 hours. While looking for an auto-rickshaw at the Ranchi station, I came across this thin guy in a red jacket and a matching red cap. He was a fifty-ish man with sunken cheeks. He reminded me of the Naseeruddin Shah character in Ishqiya. He agreed to drop me home for Rs130. And he also took one of his minions (a 17-year old boy) along. The minion sat near the driver’s seat beside him.
My joyride had just begun.
Along the way my auto-driver talks to another driver – “You heard about that accident. The auto-driver fractured his leg and totally damaged two thelas. You should not drink that much if you can’t control it. I am going to give that driver a serious thrashing. And you also feel free to lend me a hand.”
My auto raced ahead quickly, narrowly missing few passers-by. Bhalu bhai started his monologue which was intercepted by assuring mono-syllables from the minion.
“Bhalu bhai should have been a driver in Mumbai. Look at my fucking speed. But, what to do? I have fallen in love with Ranchi’s climate.”
“Look at me and tell me if I am drunk. Haha. I am fucking drunk. But look at my driving, so smooth (The guy was narrowly missing everything on the road). You know today there are lot of auto-drivers trying to take Bhalu-bhai’s place. Even the guy who banged two thelas today had been trying so hard to be like me. But, the idiots can’t control their liquor and end up banging here and there. I take only ten minutes from the railway station to anywhere and I never meet any accident. Do you know why? Experience. On these Ranchi roads Bhalu bhai is the king.”
“These days the roads have got better. So no fun driving fast. During Lalu Yadav’s time, the roads used to be extremely narrow and bumpy. I have spoiled so many shock-absorbers during Lalu’s time. Those were the days.”
I don’t know why, but Bhalu bhai assumed that I was a Bengali (other people have previously confused me as a Bangladeshi and as a Sri Lankan). So, Bhalu bhai spoke about me with his minion, thinking I would not understand a word.
“Look at the Dada sitting behind. I asked for Rs150 but he said Rs130. I agreed. But where will the fucker get such a ride. Ten minutes and he will be home.”
After sometime Bhalu bhai suddenly stopped his monologue and started his cassette player. A song started playing loudly in Bhojpuri – “Why do you ask me to wear loose pyjama at home when salwar-suit and lehenga are in fashion? **”
I was home in ten minutes.
**crude translation
“I am honest in admitting that I am dishonest.”
Case 1: You believe me. And you believe me because you think I am honest. But when you believe me, you consider me dishonest.
Case 2: You don’t believe me. And you don’t believe me because you think I am dishonest. But when you don’t believe me, you consider me to be honest.
Am I honest or am I dishonest?
I was born on 14th January in Banda, which was one of the early postings of my father. Banda is a god-forsaken place in the eastern part of Uttar Pradesh. It’s only claim to fame is that Tulsidas was born here. Legend has it that he had 32 teeth when he was born!
My mom delivered me in a makeshift hospital which was run by a Doctor couple, who had started their practice recently. Mine was a difficult birth because my legs popped out first. The inexperienced doctors fractured my hand during delivery. And there was a chloroform leakage in the room which made almost everyone present in the room unconscious.
Because of my legs coming out before my head, I am believed to be having special powers to cure neck-pain. Few gentle strokes of my leg on your neck in the morning and your neck pain will vanish. I can cure anybody’s neck-pain but mine. I am not flexible enough!
I don’t know why, but my father thought that his first child would be a girl. So he had brought frocks with him and those frocks were my first dress. My grandmother had received the message that a boy had been born. She was seriously shocked to see the baby in a frock. She had to do some physical inspection before she was convinced that I was a boy!
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This birthday has been special. Got a red rose from a girl for the first time in my life. Feeling flattered. Blushing.
Filed under: Jharkhand and Bihar, Personal BS | Tags: Bihar, Bihari, Social Inequity
This is the first time I am trying to analyse a news article on my blog. And that too an article published in the TOI. We are all aware of the journalistic credibility and standards of the TOI. Crap as they are, this one coming as “Special” is specially crap.
The Crappy Article
Let me begin by telling you a small incident. Our family visited Delhi when I was six years old. My first Delhi trip! There in front of the India Gate, my father got into an altercation with a peanut vendor. Apparently, he had said something demeaning about the Biharis. Even at that age I felt hurt by the peanut vendor’s comment. My mother told my father not to get into a fight with these “chhote log”. Normally my father is a calm and composed man rarely getting into any kind of fights. But, this time he lost his temper because he was really hurt, just as I was.
The caste-system is very prevalent in Bihar. It is such a menace that eighty percent Biharis of my generation don’t use their original surnames. The high-caste people look down upon the lower castes. It is only when they come out of Bihar, no matter what their caste is; they are treated with the equal contempt – Bihari. It is then that they face their identity crisis. The major part of who they are, where they come from is treated with disrespect. And that is when the Biharis revert back by feeling proud as a Bihari.
Coming back to the crappy article.
“Who carries you on a rickshaw or an autorickshaw in Delhi? Biharis. Who drives the cars of Delhiites? Biharis. Who built the Delhi Metro?
Biharis. (You may not agree with the last one.)
Who is building the new houses and the expanding suburbs of Delhi? Biharis. Who made Punjab the most prosperous state in the country? The answer again is Biharis. (Here too you may not agree.)”
So by this guy’s logic a designer or an engineer should never get the credit for the buildings or bridges they make but it should only be given to the labour involved. Punjab is the most prosperous state in the country because of the fertile and well-irrigated land it has. If it were not the labourers from Bihar, the labour would have come from Orissa or any other poor state or even like in the US the Punjabi farmers would have started using machines in their farms. And if we extend the writer’s logic, the Punjabis have made Canada what it is.
“In colonial days, Bihar supplied the “girmitiya”, or indentured, labour force that built countries like Mauritius, Suriname and Fiji. A bulk of the labour employed in the Raj capital of Calcutta came from Bihar. After Independence, as opportunities grew, Bihari workers flocked to places like Delhi, Punjab and Mumbai.”
It is not a matter of pride that poor people from Bihar had to leave their motherland in search of jobs and had to work as labourers in foreign countries. Anyone who has lived in Mumbai will know how densely populated it is. And each day hundreds of labourers from Bihar come there on a one-way-train.
There is a genuine problem here. I do not support Raj Thakre’s violent antics against these immigrants for his political interests but we must realize that there is a problem. There is no job for the poor men in Bihar. And instead of just cribbing, we must work towards generating employment in Bihar itself. Ignoring a problem is not a solution to it.
“At the same time, Biharis excelled in other fields. Many of them became great political leaders, ICS and IAS officers, scientists, doctors, engineers, writers and artists. Delhi and other Indian cities attracted huge white-collar Bihari populations and Biharis formed a large part of the Indian diaspora of professionals.
With limited options of higher education and hardly any employment opportunities in the state, the youth of Bihar started looking out. They flooded places like Delhi University and Jawaharlal Nehru University. They started dominating the country’s toughest competitive tests like the IIT Joint Entrance Examination and the UPSC’s civil services examination. With this success, Biharis started believing that they were the brainiest. As for others, they at least began to acknowledge that Biharis were inferior to none when it came to brainpower.”
Calling Biharis brainy just because they can clear few competitive exams is as idiotic a logic as there can be. The statistics don’t tell us the number of Biharis who wasted their 4-5 years of life and still could not clear the UPSC. Most of the states have their own engineering colleges and the students of these states can easily get through them because of the state quota. They just don’t need to work that hard. While we Bihari students slog out to clear whatever few options we have, living aside the real passions of our lives. There should be one statistic which says out of so many Bihari students appearing in JEE, these many qualified.
“Biharis, meanwhile, were retreating into a shell, with little but the glory of ancient and medieval heroes like Buddha, Mahavira, Chandragupta, Chanakya, Ashoka, Aryabhatta, Guru Gobind Singh and Sher Shah to bask in.”
The biggest cliché. Don’t we have anything other than our history to talk about? Even if this article mentioned someone recent like Jay Prakash Narayan, it would still make sense. I am not sure that people mentioned in this article even existed.
“Now comes 11% growth. The state can recover from the damage it has suffered over hundreds of years only if such a high rate of growth can be sustained for many, many years. Then Biharis would not have to till others’ land or build cities and countries elsewhere.”
This GDP stat comes from the state government itself. Even if it is fudged; it shows that Nitish wants to showcase development as his achievement in lieu of the next elections. So, it is good in that sense.
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I feel that this article is doing nothing but creating false “Bihari” pride. Social inequity is rampant in the whole of India, be it Bihar or Punjab. Poor people get fucked up anyway. And there are people who are working to lessen this inequity. There are so many South Indians working in Bihar and Jharkhand towards their development.
We the cheerleaders
And we the educated Biharis stand on the fence and look towards Bihar when we face identity crisis. We are not doing anything useful, just cheerleading. Getting a top rank in IAS or JEE does not make a state proud. We are a generation of Facebooker’s who just make noise without doing anything meaningful for our state. Our contribution towards the development of our state is as useful as the Facebook campaign where girls revealed the colour of their bra to spread breast cancer awareness. But yes, we are always there to cheer 
The writer of this article is proud to be a Bihari, but realises that he has done nothing that Bihar should feel proud of him.
Filed under: Jharkhand and Bihar, Movies, Personal BS | Tags: Inglourious basterds, Jamsedhpur, Jharkhand, Quentin Tarantino, Ranchi
Inglourious Basterds
The wait turned out to be longer than Rakhi’s wait for Karan-Arjun. Although the Idiots delayed the coming of the Basterds, finally they did arrive in Ranchi. There is only one show per day. And I managed to not miss my opportunity today.
The ticket counter guy had to confirm with someone on the phone before starting booking tickets for the show, as very few people had turned up.
Just as I was about to get in, I saw a government ambassador car with a red light on top approaching the theatre. Crony vehicles (like police jeep) were accompanying. I thought these guys had arrived for some random checking. I entered the theatre ignoring them.
Before the movie was about to start two uncles entered. They sat just behind my seat. They started discussing something. I could hear Akira Kurosawa in their conversation. They were talking about the poor state of theatres in Ranchi compared to Jamsedhpur. Apparently, some clubs at Jamsedhpur host good cinema owing to the sizeable Bengali bhadralok population there.
During the interval a young guy sitting beside me started talking to the uncles.
“Uncle, which post do you hold?”
“DIG”
“Do you know one of your guards was so drunk outside that he was unable to open the automatic door of the car? It is just morning and he is so drunk.”
“I don’t think he is drunk. He probably does not know how to use the remote.”
The conversation ended. And I marvelled at the courage of the guy sitting beside me.
After sometime, I heard the uncle talking on the phone.
“I have got information that Sheela and Sweety are going to reach Dumri today. These are female criminals and we have their photographs and other records at the police station. I want you to check each and every vehicle that is reaching Dumri and stop them.”
And then the movie continued after the interval.
I was surprised to find that the two uncles were senior police officers of Jharkhand Police and they were watching a Quentin Tarantino movie. I hope that they don’t beat up the criminals like the Bear-Jew.
Even after having read countless good reviews about IB which had raised my expectations to sky-high, I found the movie very entertaining. I think this is QT’s ultimate ode to cinema. Killing Hitler and other Nazis in a “cinema theatre” by burning the “nitrate reels” and thereby ending the world war – amazing. I liked this version of the history better.
I hope some of our directors like Anurag Kashyap or Vishal Bhardwaj do the same with our history. Eg. Bhagat Singh does not die and ends up kicking British and Gandhi-Nehru ass with the support of Subhash Chandra Bose. That would be something.
